What does the brutal murder of a delightful, inquisitve friendly little eight year old girl do to a community? How does it recover?

Part 11

This series is a first person account, told by a parent who has lived through the fear and pain that rocked Woodstock when an eight year old girl was abducted on her way home from school and subsequently murdered.  Elizabeth  Maloney takes us through each step of the ordeal and starts with: A girl the same age as my daughter – is missing, she didn’t get home after school. The worry sets in. No longer can a parent feel reassured by the spotlight of safety once provided by broad daylight. Things are different now.  It can happen anytime, anywhere, and the most gut-wrenching of all; to anyone.

By Elizabeth Maloney WOODSTOCK, ON May 19, 2012  Can we move on from this? And how?

For three plus years, the City of Woodstock has talked about, thought about or debated about the death of Victoria Stafford.  We were consumed with finding the little girl and then with finding her killers. But now that Tori has been laid to rest, and her murderers tried and behind bars, what is there left to do? It’s kind of like the first few days after you graduate from high school- you are grateful you survived, that you finally succeeded and now that it’s over, you’re not sure what to do with yourself.

Much like any other small Ontario town - the recent addition of a large auto assembly plant brought lots of jobs to the city but other than that - it's just another small town that drew some attention it could have well done without.

But much like high school, after a few days of reveling in the success, you get the idea that you have to move forward, get your direction and put one foot in front of the other. And that is where Woodstock is. We’ve been celebrating the verdict, but now it’s time we find our way. How have things changed for Tori’s family, the Oxford County Police Services and the community as a whole?

Our mourning period sufficiently satisfied, now it’s time for new growth from the ashes.

Signs of life after Tori are starting to bud sporadically around the City, much like tiny buds on a tree during the first warm days of spring. Tori’s mother, Tara McDonald has announced her plans with a job waiting for her and going back to school in her future, working towards her goal of becoming someone Tori would be proud of.

Rodney Stafford, Tori’s father, has stated that he is going to do something to make sure some good comes out of this tragedy, by continuing to raise money for ChildFind, challenging current laws or pushing for security cameras in schools. While the rest of Tori’s family have not publicly announced their plans, rest assured they are picking up the pieces much like Tara and Rodney and trying to move forward as best they can.

Since the investigation into Tori’s abduction and murder, Oxford Community Police Services (OCPS) has waged a war on drugs in the city. Woodstock was saddled with allegations of having a seedy, underground drug culture running rampant within the city limits. Every community has drug issues – even Woodstock – but I don’t think our “problem” is any larger than most other communities. I think the chief difference is that no one believed the friendly City of Woodstock had one. There is no doubt of the drug connection to this murder, with three of the major players in this investigation reported in the media as having a drug addiction; one could hardly argue. This case shone a bright light in that dark corner, making it impossible to ignore.

Woodstock - a city with an old city hall, a pleasant city hall square - quiet sort of suburban - a decent place to raise kids - and then everything changed.

Tori’s murder case provided the catalyst needed to motivate OCPS to launch a crackdown on the supply of drugs like Oxycontin. In the few years since Tori’s murder they have offered help to addicts while simultaneously breaking up the channels the drugs flowed through. Chief Rodney Freeman spoke of this when he said “We’re not going to win the war on drugs. But our effort has been to disrupt and displace the drug cultures within our city to the very best extent we can.” In other words, they’re not going to be able to eliminate the drug issue completely, but they sure as heck were going to make it harder for them to operate.

As for the many families in Woodstock, when Tori went missing the expected reactions occurred. Parents became more cautious, not allowing children to venture far, and in some extreme cases at all. We didn’t just watch our kids, we watched other peoples’ kids! My own child was sequestered to the back yard when she asked to go outside, with instructions not to play out the front of the house and to come in immediately should anyone come around. Tori’s story had rattled most of us parents. We were suddenly aware that two predators had been lurking amongst us for quite some time. It was alarming to say the least and we reacted the only way we knew how- out of fear.

Perhaps the saddest thing I learned out of all of this was the reaction of the children of Woodstock. According to a lady who works for one of the family services agencies in the city, they fielded calls from parents asking how to answer their children’s questions about Tori. Children who usually remain oblivious to the harsh realities of the world around them somehow were not immune this time. They were painfully aware of what had happened to Tori and many of them had questions. Parents were challenged with finding the right answers- giving enough so their children realized the gravity of the situation, but not enough to irrevocably scare them into hiding.

 

Lots of sports teams with parents heavily involved - the author of this series, a resident of Woodstock, coaches her daughters soccer team - but it isn't the same

So are our children still “bubble-wrapped” and under careful guard today? No, not really. While we still keep watchful eye, as parents we know we can’t watch our children every single second of their lives. Instead of locking them away out of the fear we felt, we teach them how to protect themselves and I believe that most of the parents within the city are doing just that, or at least moving towards that. Education programs about strangers were renewed in the schools and parents employed the buddy system, cell phones and check in times as a means of giving their children freedom but security at the same time. We are giving our children the tools to survive in a world that does not care about their innocence. Because we know that to just lock them up only imprisons them and does nothing to teach them about survival. We can’t stop all the predators before they strike, but we can arm our children with the tools to avoid, out-smart and escape them. Some argue this is robbing our children of their innocence. But I look at it this way, better to be robbed of innocence in this manner than for a predator to do the robbing and my child end up like Tori.

We are making progress, but with all tragedies, it will take some time. Wounds this severe don’t heal overnight. We are on the right path and pointed in the right direction. The bottom line is that Woodstock came together in this tragedy. Our citizens participated in the searches, the vigils and sadly the memorials of Tori Stafford. We cried, we raged, we mourned. We circled around Tori and her family and banded together even in our darkest hours. If after seeing that, you still have doubt that Woodstock will bounce back from our loss, let me be clear: Speaking on behalf of my city, we will heal. We will rise from the darkness, if for no other reason out of respect and homage to our dear little Tori. Our innocence may be lost, but our spirit is still fully intact.

 Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

 

 

 

 

Return to the Front page
Print Friendly, PDF & Email

Comments are closed.