By Ray Rivers
November 13, 2014
BURLINGTON, ON.
Maybe it was that melodic voice wafting through my car speakers. Or maybe the sense of command and confidence projected by this smooth talk show host, drilling down to get at the nut of each issue. I loved listening to Jian Ghomeshi and his well-honed ‘Q’ show which had risen to the peak of radio fame just in time for his dramatic tumble into disgrace, having been exposed as a closet misogynist, a woman beater.
Ghomeshi the radio host always seemed such a gentle and sensitive individual. Who would have guessed ‘Norman Bates’ might be lurking somewhere in his imagination. It wasn’t stabbing in a shower, but it was dangerous spontaneous choking and beatings. It is hard to believe that the man who crafted such a passionate and sweet tribute to his father, on his passing, could have been harbouring such a monster within.
And it wasn’t just the dating, but also his overbearing management style, that did him in. He had become the face of CBC radio, he disgraced himself and fell, as Shakespeare would have applauded – by his own devices. In this case it was his own violent hand. Yet there was an upside to this tragic story since it encouraged so many victims to spring forward for an emancipation of sorts, a new freedom to come forward and tell all.
We were treated to exposés by Ghomeshi’s former dates, his staff and his bosses at CBC, as they described his tyrannical, obsessive and demanding management style. And those stories, no doubt, seemed to encourage a couple of NDP MP’s to complain to Justin Trudeau presumably about a couple of his Liberal MPs hitting on them – or hitting them – we don’t know. Trudeau immediately suspended them from his caucus pending an investigation, only to be verbally abused by an angry NDP leader Mulcair.
Perhaps Mulcair was annoyed that his caucus members had gone to Trudeau instead of to him. Or maybe he was trying to draw cover for an impending harassment case between one of his own MPs and an office staffer. Then out of the blue Sheila Copps comes forward to tell all about an attempted assault by an MP during her time on the Hill, and adding that she had also been raped some years earlier.
All this coming-out makes one wonder who is next, and when will enough be enough already. And what is wrong with our elected federal representatives that they have to act like mischievous children while pay them to represent us in Ottawa. That is not how I want to be represented, perhaps we need an age limit.
We know that bullying behaviour starts early in life. Some would argue that It is a natural phenomenon, development of a ‘pecking order’ sort of thing – in a dog-eat-dog world where the strong survive and weak just suffer – where the cave man goes out to kill the bear and his favourite squeeze stays home to raise the babies and tend to the fire.
But that isn’t how our modern great society works. We demand equity, equality of opportunity and respect for human dignity; and we expect personal freedom regardless of gender, physical size or economic endowment. So we have started teaching children not to bully, intimidate, or harass, from an early age. That is the way we want them to behave in a civilized community, even if their parents don’t.
I can recall being at an official function a few years ago when one of my bosses came over and surprised me by squeezing my arm until it hurt. I yelled ‘ouch’ thinking she must have wanted to get my attention – and that sure did the trick. I might have made a formal complaint instead of just brushing off the incident, but like so many others I was a little embarrassed, so let it pass.
I consider myself a tactile person. I believe there are times, especially when grief or joy are upon us, that we humans need the assurance of another’s touch. Life would be so incomplete were society to ban physical contact entirely in the name of preventing potential assault. But touching does have its limits – hurting someone, spontaneously choking or punching them about the head is a whole different kettle of worms.
‘Q’ will stay on the air with a new executive producer and a new host, but for me it’ll never be the same without the brilliant Ghomeshi. I remember back to a time when an extremely hostile guest, Billy Bob Thornton, tore into Jian for the way he was interviewing. Billy Bob backed him into a corner and humbled him into an embarrassing submission. No, it wasn’t violence, but Jian Ghomeshi must have got a good taste of what it was like to be on the receiving end of bullying. Too bad he didn’t learn from that experience.
Ray Rivers writes weekly on both federal and provincial politics, applying his more than 25 years as a federal bureaucrat to his thinking. Rivers was a candidate for provincial office in Burlington where he ran against Cam Jackson in 1995, the year Mike Harris and the Common Sense Revolution swept the province.
Background links:
Ghomeshi Ghomeshi Scandal Trudeau MPs NDP Staffer
Sheila Copps Billy Bob Interview Sexual Consent
Bullying Stop a Bully What’s Harassment
Dealing with Sexual Misconduct
I was stunned when I first saw Ghomeshi’s own lengthy revelation of the details of his dilemma. When I asked myself if I, or anyone, outside of other victims and the police, needed to know these details, the obvious answer was: NO! What I was considering, however, was:
• Would it be useful, interesting or just prurience to know what led to the ethical and psychological contortions that made him behave the way he did?
• How would I behave if I too was exposed to the excessive power and lifestyle that were part of and surely cultivated his hubris?
I have spent a working lifetime around politicians at all levels. I have worked for several of them. Over that time I have formed certain opinions about them by observing what they say and do.
The first thing to remember about them is how they got to be politicians. They put themselves forward as candidates in periodic popularity contests. If you think of an election in the same terms as a sales campaign then the first thing that strikes you is that they are the product, and they are marketing themselves. That imparts a different impact on their psyche than, say, if they were marketing a bar of soap.
My second observation is that politics tends to attract certain types of personalities, usually those who already hold a high opinion of themselves. It takes a certain level of ego to run publicly. Success in elections merely confirms and reinforces their egos. Some are borderline narcissists — witness President Obama who can hardly make a speech that doesn’t contain numerous references to himself, occasionally having to correct something he said by going back and inserting a “we” instead of an “I”. If you combine this kind of personality with real power, you have a formula for trouble, imparting a sense of invulnerability for taking liberties with other “lesser” folk that one would not ordinarily countenance.
I think people who find themselves celebrities in the media, or in sports, or other endeavours that court public acclaim, come to the same psychological space as these politicians.