Braithwaite: What I learned from magnetic stones: force and resistance.

By Alison Braithwaite

March 14th, 2019

BURLINGTON, ON

I have these beautiful black, flat, polished stones that are magnetic. I believe it is called hematite. I love how they feel in my hand and I love that they are magnetic.

When I hold them I feel grounded.

Then I noticed something. I was playing with two of the stones the other day and I noticed something interesting. I was playing with their resistance.

You know how when you bring two magnets together the wrong way, you can feel the strength of their resistance? No matter how hard you push them together they resist.

If you push them past a certain point the magnetic forces them to either side of each other.

And you know how when you flip the magnets the other way there is a strong force that instantly brings the magnets together.

What I noticed was that as a certain point the force that brings the stones careening together and the force of resistance that repels the stones feels the same.

I found this so fascinating.

Immediately, I thought of how this applies to life; how it applies to dealing with difficult situations.

We have all likely felt that resistance when we are pushing forward to achieve something. That moment when we think this is too hard, it’s taking too much effort, why can’t I get past this point, why don’t they understand what I am trying to do.

Then one magic step forward and everything opens up and starts to happen so fast and with so much ease.

And then there’s the other situation…

Force and resistance – shows with magnets – in life as well?

The situation where we keep pushing and pushing and the harder we push the more we are flung onto a different path. It can be exhausting.

If you find yourself constantly pushing with nothing to show for yourself
1. Take a moment to notice what’s happening.
2. Pause.
3. Assess the situation.
Ask yourself some questions

How long have you been striving in this situation?

• Sometimes we push ourselves too hard to change a situation or achieve a goal. We are so focused on pushing forward that we lose perspective and exhaust ourselves.
How are you physically, mentally and emotionally feeling?

• Sometimes we don’t pay attention to ourselves and how we feel. Yet we have this inner wisdom that knows exactly what our next step should be and that answer may be rest, regroup, think again.
What is the next right step?

• What is the next right step for you, not just for the situation? You are just as important as the situation.
Are you about to take the same step?

• Sometimes we do the same thing over and over again and expect something different. In order to come together, one of the hematite stones needs to be flipped right over and then instantly they are drawn together.
How can you flip yourself, your thinking, your beliefs and perspectives?

• What stories are you telling yourself about the goal, the situation and the people involved?

• What stories are you telling yourself about your abilities, your determination, your state of mind?

• How can you flip yourself, see things from a new and energizing perspective?

• What would it be like to create the opposite story, take on the opposite belief, talk to someone about where you are that you have never spoken to and in fact maybe avoided to get their perspective on things?

• Is there something that you need to accept about the situation or the people involved in order to realign yourself to who you are?
How can you flip the situation?

• This one might be a bit tougher to unearth. It means looking at the situation, the people involved, the beliefs that they hold, the stories they are telling themselves about the situation from as many perspectives that you can. What can you do to shift their perspectives, their stories, their beliefs? If you try to do it by force you will exhaust yourself.

• Somewhere in all of this is a point of leverage, where one person involves shifts and with that, the whole situation flips. And your story is key. There is something in your past experience that is key to what you believe. How can you tell your story or help someone experience what you have so that light bulb goes off inside them and their understanding flips?

Is it time to actually follow the other path?

• Don’t’ get fooled into believing the resistance you are feeling can just be pushed through.

• When you bring two magnets together and they resist, one gets thrown to the side, displaced, oriented differently. Perhaps it might be easier to follow the path in the direction you are being thrown. Just maybe things will open up for you if you walk that way.
Next steps:
1. Make a decision.
2. Take action.
3. Monitor the action and how you are feeling.
4. Adapt your approach. (So you feel like yourself).

Welcome into and expect ease and grace in your life. You and life will be so much more amazing if you do.

You can follow Alison HERE.

Alison Braithwaite spent years in the corporate world – environmental services.  She was a member of the executive team of a North American wide aggregate, emulsion and environmental company where she was responsible for environmental performance and sustainability.  Braithwaite has a Master of Arts in Leadership and a Graduate Certificate in Executive Coaching both from Royal Roads University in Victoria, British Columbia.

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