By Ray Rivers
April 24, 2014
BURLINGTON, ON.
The Harper government is having one helluva time getting its stuff past the Supreme Court. Last month it was dealt another blow. More like ‘smoked’ than ‘blown’ actually, as another piece of Mr. Harper’s psychedelic puzzle for controlling whacky-tobaccy went up in smoke and got knocked into the ash can of Canadian drug history.
I can understand the PM’s fears. If sick people, whom a doctor has determined require access to the medicinal herb, continue growing their own, as they have been doing legally, it might lead to chaos. Gangland killings will become as commonplace as they are in Mexico; children clipping buds off their parent’s pot plants will get hooked for life; food prices will skyrocket as dopers feed their munchies; and Rob Ford will do another Hollywood in an Etobicoke apartment. Oh wait – that was crack-cocaine!
So our sober-faced PM, who claims to never have experienced the pleasure of a toke of nirvana, decided to axe all the private mom and pop grow-ops in one fell swoop. Only commercial outfits would henceforth be allowed to grow the heavenly herb, under the ever-watchful eye of Health Canada. There is even a rumour that some chemist called Heisenberg will be brought up from New Mexico to monitor weed quality. Marijuana, like lettuce, spinach and tomatoes, is susceptible to moulds and bacteria after all, so you can’t let just any backyard gardeners grow their own.
And pesticides are a definite no-no. Dope-heads learned that lesson the hard way back in the 70s’ when the US drug enforcement agency (DEA) was forcing the Federales to aerial spray Mexican crops with a lethal herbicide, never thinking that the farmers were going to harvest and sell the pot anyway. As that velvety smooth Acapulco Gold made it’s way to markets all the way up here, the DEA got a whiff of what it had done and started freaking out.
So the middlers and dealers were asked to send some of the evil weed for government testing. And sure enough, almost a quarter of the samples had been contaminated by that deadly pulmonary toxin, Paraquat. Well that was enough to make you stop smoking your ‘shit’. No wonder Clinton never inhaled.
It is estimated that the Canadian market for medical mary-jane in the next few years could reach almost half a million users. So why not turn this growing enterprise into a big corporate business? That way taxes could be collected to help keep dope smokers in the expensive new private prisons which Mr. Harper’s government is building for them? Increasing the commercial supply of grass makes perfect sense for a government, otherwise committed to stamping out reefer madness.
Then one of the new commercial grass-growing ops, with the almost hallucinogenic inducing name of Greenleaf messed up. Whether it was pesticide use, bacterial contamination, or unintentionally over-strength THC (the fun component) hasn’t been confirmed. But if you or your buds ordered your medical buds from Greenleaf – stuff with the cool handle of ‘Purple Kush’ – yeah you read that right – you have to send it smack back and the company will ship you a bag of fresh ganga in return.
Then Health Canada tells us that if you’ve already “bogarted” all your Purple Kush – and not blown your mind yet – don’t sweat it because it’s no big deal. Is it any wonder the Tory attack ads tell us that Justin Trudeau’s stand on marijuana legalization lacks judgement?
Ray Rivers writes weekly on both federal and provincial politics, applying his more than 25 years as a federal bureaucrat to his thinking. Rivers was a candidate for provincial office in Burlington where he ran against Cam Jackson in 1995, the year Mike Harris and the Common Sense Revolution swept the province. He developed the current policy process for the Ontario Liberal Party.
Background links:
Medical Marijuana Colorado Grow Your Own Paraquat More Paraquat Market Potential
Ray, If you are reading this, Cheech and Chong have stolen your laptop. They have subsequently sent an article into the Burlington Gazette using your identity.
Thanks Tony – I think you are right.
Ray
Since inhaling toxic substances into our lungs understandably has carcinogenic results, why would we want to encourage even more suffering and unnecessary death that puts greater stains on our health system when we are still unable to eliminate he attraction of cigarette smoking?