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How Not to Get Mad at Loved Ones: 6 Ways to Manage Emotions

By Kate Brown

April 28th, 2022

BURLINGTON, ON

 

Everyone experiences negative emotions from time to time. You may have been taught as a child to suppress them, but it’s natural to be angry. The main thing is not to let your feelings become the reason for quarrels with other people. You can learn to control anger by understanding what causes it and expressing it in healthier ways.

Imagine the situation: you boil when the boss asks you to do extra work. Perhaps it’s not the first time it’s happened because another employee has again failed to complete his duties on time. You’re fed up and feel like you’re about to explode. Then you gather your coworkers and tell them what you think of them. Gradually your anger fades and you feel better, but you realize from the surprised looks on the faces of those around you that this was not the best way to deal with your emotions.

Usually the cause of anger is an underlying problem. It’s possible that you’re tired of doing everything for everyone at work and it’s high time you built personal boundaries. You no longer want to take on the responsibilities of colleagues who are not up to the task. Anger and quarrels will not help change the situation, it’s much more productive to learn to express emotions in other ways.

How to Control Anger
There are several ways to control anger. By following the simple instructions on this list, you can activate your parasympathetic nervous system, which means you can calm down and relax. You’ll cope with anxiety and stress, your mood will improve, and your blood pressure will return to normal. Here’s what will help you not snap when you’re experiencing strong negative emotions.

Take a Break
Take time out and go for a short walk. This will allow you to reflect for a while before reacting to events emotionally. Go outside, feel the warmth of the sun, listen to the leaves rustling in the wind. Focus your attention on the world around you. Forget about the most pleasurable things, like gambling at a Canadian casino online or your favorite movie you’ve watched recently. This will activate your frontal cortex, and strong negative emotions will subside.

Awareness or Short Meditation
Close your eyes, slow your breathing, and allow yourself to calm down, relaxing your whole body. Take your mind to a place where you once felt happy. It could be the seashore, the mountains, or the arms of a loved one.

Writing a journal is an opportunity to put your feelings down on paper – you’ll be surprised how you feel when you go back and read them later.

Write a Diary
When you are angry, write an uncensored letter to the person who triggered your negative emotion. You can do this on paper or in your smartphone notes. Afterwards, reread the letter and try to figure out what experiences caused you to defend yourself through anger. Perhaps you feel humiliated or you are frightened by uncertainty. There is no need to send the letter to the addressee; it’s better to tear up the sheet or erase what you have written. This kind of practice helps you to structure your thoughts, find the true causes of your emotions, and cope with stress.

Deep Breathing
This method of anger management seems too simple, but it really works. The key is to start using it. If you are boiling over, but you cannot leave the room and need to continue talking to the person who provoked the negative emotion in you, turn away to breathe and count to ten. During this time, you will be able to determine the cause of your anger and outline a plan of action.

Exercise
If you are overcome by anger, do some simple exercises or swim in the pool. Exercise releases endorphins that make you feel better. It’s impossible to leave a workout with the same level of stress that you came to class with. Your anxiety level will decrease, making it easier for you to make informed decisions.

Anti-stress Accessories
The easiest and most affordable of these is a wrist expander. Squeeze and unclench the exercises in the palms of your hands. Monotonous actions will help to cope with stress and relax. Bonus – strong hands and excellent grip, the main thing – do not forget to change hands periodically. “I-affirmations.”

If you feel yourself boiling over, directly (but calmly) tell the person you’re talking to what you think about what’s going on. Use “I-affirmations” and don’t get personal. For example, you might say to your boss, “I’m puzzled by what you said.” My part of the project was done yesterday.” Such communication will provide new information and allow your boss to see the situation from a new perspective.

Speaking calmly and directly – takes the heat out of a conversation

Regardless of which way you choose to deal with your emotions, it’s important to identify the cause of your anger and recognize the difference between healthy and chronic stress. Understanding what makes you angry will help you deal with future outbursts of anger. If your anger is related to the other person’s actions, let them know how and why their actions affect you. The conversation should begin in a calm atmosphere – after you can pull yourself together. Together with the person, you are talking to, come up with a plan for how to communicate in the future.

Take time to get to know yourself better and develop emotional intelligence. If you learn to manage your emotions and stop snapping at others, you can strengthen communication and make your relationship healthier.

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